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"poor kamil like OH GOD ETHICS. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS. ALSO MY DICK. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS AND MY DICK"
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An even longer pause.

 

dude

it’s just psp stuff i’m not like getting human trafficked

seriously are you ok

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NO

are you in a gang or a frat or what?????

wtf is psp

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Z is taking a while to respond this time.

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wait is psp a drug

is this a drug thing

dude

dude you can't leave me hanging like this

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peer service program???

dude i’m not gonna call your dad but this is freaking me out

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okay either someone is fucking with you or you are fucking with me

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wait are YOU fucking with ME

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NO

THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY

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ok it’s in the student handbook and i’m not having a psychotic break

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...Camillo consults the student handbook.

(He knew he should finish reading this thing.)

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Flipping through it, he won’t see any of his underlines or scribbled dicks. The pages are clean and new, like they’ve never been written on.

And on the page where he made a correction —

Use of Students During and After School (PSP)

Certain students (those enrolled in a PSP for disciplinary reasons) will be accessible for peer relief throughout the day at lunch and rest breaks, and after school. Enrolled students are required to remain in their assigned areas as scheduled.

The following areas will be staffed, whenever possible, by a PSP-enrolled student:

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...Camillo counts his fingers until he gets the same result three times and feels confident he isn't dreaming.

Then he writes the sky is green in the margin of the book, just in time for his dad to arrive, looking disappointed, and escort him to the car.

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The sky does not, in fact, turn green.

But when he opens the book again, there is a quote block at the top of the page, among the other slightly glurgey inspirational messages.

He says the earth is an oval marble that nobody can win. He says the sky is not blue and the grass is not green. He says everything is a matter of perception.

- Sherman Alexie

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Incredible.

(He glowers out the car window at the irritatingly blue sky.)

hey i'm really sorry about this but shit has gotten super super weird for me all of a sudden

can i get you to answer some deeply bizarre questions and not, like, freak out or call my parents

i will owe you so many

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hey what are friends for

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you are the actual best

how long has the psp been a thing

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uh

don't know off the top of my head but like it was a thing freshman year so...at least two whole years i guess

i'm pretty sure they've been doing it for a while?

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okay

thanks

Time travel! No problem. This is great and he is not panicking at all.

Camillo flips to the first page of the handbook, crosses out Cavelier in the title, and writes in Dickbutt.

He closes the book.

He opens it again.

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He has so much power.

so uh

what's the name of our school

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are you just trying to get me to send you dickbutt out of context

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no but that would admittedly be hilarious

He crosses out "dickbutt" and rewrites "cavelier."

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...and looks at his text history.

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Z’s message has been replaced.

cavelier. why

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