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"poor kamil like OH GOD ETHICS. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS. ALSO MY DICK. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS AND MY DICK"
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I will definitely explain when I am finished figuring it out

Back to the title page.

Under Cavelier High School, he writes, in his best handwriting, for immortal teens.

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This time, when he opens the handbook again, there is a long horizontal bar underneath, containing “for immortal teens” in very pale grey.

Over the bar, in miniscule text, is written 

PENDING

and to its right, greyed out,

0%

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God fucking dammit why does his phenomenal cosmic power have loading bars.

okay so like

i would love to tell you what's going on

but i have no idea and also you are literally not going to believe me

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try me

i’ve seen movies

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i don't have, like

evidence

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gotta start somewhere right

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pinky promise not to call the nice men in white coats

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man i wouldn’t sell you out like that

if you have brain chips i support you

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Here goes nothing.

i changed the name of our school to dickbutt

and then back

and you thought it was normal both times

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ok one how did you change the name of our school

two lol

three i don’t remember literally any of that

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yeah about that last

psp didn't exist yesterday

oops

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what

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on which note

one more weird science please

can you cross out cavelier on the first page of your student handbook

and write something else

literally anything

dickbutt is fine

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ok done

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Camillo checks his own copy.

 

Okay. Thank fuck. The entire junior class has not been endowed with phenomenal cosmic powers.

thanks

so uh

i guess yours is ... not magic

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your handbook is magic

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i am aware of how bullshit this sounds

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yeah kinda

but awesome if true

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brb parents

Camillo's parents, it transpires, are not impressed with his explanation for the fight. They are even less impressed when he isn't interested in writing a letter of apology to the other boy involved. Electronics are confiscated. Groundings are issued.

The next time Camillo sees Z is three days later, at school.

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In the hall before class, Z looks extremely relieved to see him in person.

"Hey. Grounded for life?"

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"Hypothetically grounded for a month. In practice my mom will probably change her mind in like a week. How are you ... doing?"

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“Not bad. Really curious.”

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"Can't blame you. Please tell me you can, like ... see this."

He flips his handbook open to the title page.

Cavelier High School

 

                                              pending                                                   
for immortal teens    
⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 0%

 

                                                                                                  pending                                                    
in memory of Joe Cavelier, eradicator of malaria     ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 0%

 

                                                                                                                 pending                               
offering automatic admission to the Ivy Leagues since 1999     ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 1%

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~ World peace begins with inner peace. ~~~

~~~ If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy.~~~

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"...h...uh."

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