4dgirlvisibleorgans posts that did not go viral

Author's note: this thread is closed to participants other than myself; it is a vaguely representative collection of original #not porn posts - and possibly, in the future, some reblogs - by 4dgirlvisibleorgans that did not go horribly horribly viral. If you want a character, recurring or throwaway, to send her a tumblr ask, ping me about it in an appropriate megacontinuity planning thread. However, I intend for this thread to contain little to no inter-author keyboard violence; its not exactly fluff, but it's a low-key experience to add texture to the world and the character. I also intend for 4dgirlvisibleorgans to be mostly beneath the notice of actual espers - she has shared reblog chains with them already, but if she was getting directly contacted by Public Figures more than vanishingly rarely she would very likely freak out and delete her blog.

Unlike previous Confluence threads depicting approximately-tumblr posts, individual tags by 4dgirlvisibleorgans in this thread represent separate posts, not reblogs of the same post.

Enjoy!

whenever i talk about how shit the death note live action movie is people assume im talking about the netflix one and i tell them no, the 2006 one sucked shit too, and they usually don't know what the fuck im even talking about so now you get to learn

in 2006 there was a two-part live action death note that no one remembers

its basically shit. you know how the better call saul girlies complain about reddit men who like breaking bad cuz they think walts a badass? thats how i feel about people who like the 2006 death note movie. people think death note is a story about two cool geniuses getting into cool fights. no, these people suck. im not gonna waste time relitigating why light sucks but l also sucks. hes "the best detective in the world" because he needs to be for the story to work so he can be the guy they pull in to catch light but the story very patiently holds your hand through the realization that he fucking sucks. he immediately figures out that light is kira and inserts himself into lights life in order to prove it and from then on the constant refrain is how much l likes light. over and over again l goes on about how much he likes light and how light is the first true friend he ever had and over and over again they have all these long bizarrely-intimate competitive rivalry moments and they are both obviously having way too much fun. like obviously light loves fighting against l but *l also loves fighting against light.* and thats why he cant ever lock it the fuck down. because hes having too much fun. even at the very end during the "were going to be parting ways soon" where the literal reading is the investigations almost over but the subtext is that l knows light is kira and is going to fucking kill him......... everyone sees that scene and theyre like "wow l is so smart even now he intuits that light is kira and is going to kill him" no idiot l is so FUCKING STUPID that even though he knows hes about to die he cant bring himself to defeat light because he likes light too much. and so he fucking dies.

#not porn

4dgirlvisibleorgans reblogged this post:

and do you know who does lock it the fuck down?

near.

near who does not fucking appear once in death note 2006.

in season 2 of death note we meet near and mello who were both training to be the next l and we see them learning that l is fucking dead. and mello is so fucking pissed of that l is dead because l cant possibly be stupid enough to die whereas near is just like sucks to suck. and mello is this kind of paradoxical guy who thinks l is a genius but also thinks he can obviously outsmart him, and idealizes l for being the emotional hyper rational guy but is just so spittingly angry all the time that he basically physically cannot control himself. and near is just very calmly like if you lose you lost, clearly you couldnt hack it. thats just the way it is. if you cant solve the puzzle youre just a loser. and like do you see the subtext here... these people are so glaringly a referendum on the death note fandom and the reaction to ls death? everyone who constantly is arguing over smarter things l could have done to beat light while simultaneously shitting their pants if you suggest that l wasnt meant to be the smartest guy on the planet, everyone who idealizes the detached caricature-rational emotionless chains of logic image of intelligence that death note presents while constantly getting into flame wars with each other. mello is these people incarnate in the universe of death note, who goes "l was a dipshit and i could have caught kira" while simultaneously having meltdowns over the idea that l wasnt a genius. and he fucking loses too. and the guy who wins is the guy whose first act on screen is to call l a stupid loser moron and whose last act on screen is to call light a stupid loser moron. the guy who wins and stops kira is the only guy in the series who refuses to elevate l and light to the level that they see themselves at. every death note fan on the fucking planet is always analyzing the schemes and the plots and the plans (and again i dont need to relitigate why every scheme and plot and plan in death note is actually completely stupid) and trying to figure out what strategy l should have used to catch kira and what strategy kira could have used to beat l and near because theyre completely incapable of understanding death note or any other story on the level of "whats being said here? if these characters and these events are being used as communicative tools, what is being communicated with them? what can i learn about the world and human nature and myself by understanding this story?" presumably because theyre all so personally odious that if they tried to learn anything about themselves theyd immediately shit their pants and die.

#not porn

4dgirlvisibleorgans reblogged this post:

and guess who does not show up at all in death note 2006? near and mello. the death note 2006 two parter ends with l killing light by writing his own name in the death note before light can write it so light thinks he dies earlier than he does. which a) turns ls death into a stupid generic heroic sacrifice and b) is exactly the sort of im-smarter-than-l plan that shitty death note fans are always trying to come up with. movie l wins by engaging with the plot not on the level of themes or character or communication between the creator and the audience, but on the level of the stupid fine print rules that the setting only contains to enable the story to go the way it originally did, basically turning to look the worst kind of death note fan directly in the face and saying "yes, you were right, l was always supposed to win because he's the smartest little guy, and stories only exist for you to prove how much smarter you are than the characters in them," before reaching out of the television screen to shovel baby food into their mouth with one hand and jack them off with the other. and like i could talk at length about the forced adoptive father relationship between soichiro and l or the implication that the shinigami realm might have secretly been a dungeon or the weird nonsensical crime analytics graph shit that l does at the beginning of the movie that doesnt make any FUCKING sense, but you know what, i could say the same type of shit about how much of ls supposed genius intelligence relies on nonsense "intuitive" leaps in logic or how stupid it was for l to show his face to light or how much time the anime wastes on the arc of the police department combing through hospital records looking for kiras hell week. because as much as that shit might piss some of you off none of it fucking matters!! it doesnt matter!! its not the point of the show!! its a show about how people who build up an understanding of themselves as smarter and better than everybody around them just spend all their time patting themselves on the back for making themselves look like jackasses until they die immiserated and alone having wasted their life moralistically jacking themselves off!!

#not porn