"Our first option is Stamina. Evie will have the endurance of an Olympic marathoner. Whether she wants to swim the English Channel, climb Mount Everest, stay out all night dancing, or simply fuck a thousand men in a single day, she can do any physical activity as long as she likes without ever getting tired or losing form."

Wait. That's... nice? That's actually kind of nice?

"Our second option is Bend and Twist. Evie will have a nearly superhuman level of flexibility. She will be able to bend her spine so that her head touches her butt, to slide her legs over her shoulders with her chest flat on the ground, to touch her foot to her head in standing split, and to actually have a good time while doing double vaginal.. This is ideal if you want to try every pose in the Kama Sutra."

They're both nice?????

(Evie's hair has perked up to the point that it's almost vertical.)

"Our third option is Catlike Grace. Where Bend and Twist mostly handles static poses, Catlike Grace is about agility and grace in movement. Whether she wants to dance ballet, do a triple backflip, wall run through Paris, or show off her moves on the stripper pole, Catlike Grace makes Evie beautiful, skilled, and hot as hell."

????!!!!?!???!?!?!??!?!

"Our fourth option is Leave a Mark. Leave a Mark makes Evie bruise and mark incredibly easily. Whether you're sucking on her neck, paddling that fine ass, giving the naughty girl the flogging she deserves, tying her to the bed, making her suck you while kneeling on gravel, or even just fucking her with unusual enthusiasm, Evie will mark up very easily. The morning after, you'll have a visual sign of all the fun you had. The marks fade quickly, so you can always see the marks you yourself left. We are pleased to announce that Version 2.4 of Leave a Mark means she only marks easily when sexually aroused, preventing the problem in earlier versions where bimbos instead bore signs of how often they ran into coffee tables or bumped their heads on tree branches." 

hot

Bad. Very bad. How is she supposed to seduce one man if she has been marred with bruises from the last guy she slept with? 

incredibly hot, get her so wet she doesn't care if she's beautiful

"It is astonishing... it is almost unprecedented... we have a FOUR! WAY! TIE!"

Cheers go up from the stands. People hoot and stomp their feet. 

The fog rolls over Evie's mind and when it recedes...

She thinks, at first, nothing is different. Then she notices that the small ache in her feet from standing has disappeared. 

She remembers the floor routines from the last Unenhanced Olympics. Could she...?

She starts to run and then her hands hit the ground and she backflips once, twice and then suddenly she's in the air and she's still spinning and the only thing it feels like is flying. 

(Her hair, cooperatively, sticks to her head, well out of her eyes.)

She stops. She takes a breath, out of habit, even though she doesn't need to. Then she runs again and jumps and flips over in midair and gravity has no control of her anymore. 

Evie cartwheels five times out of sheer exuberance. 

The crowd's cheering and hooting and stomping gets even louder, although it's unclear if this is because they're happy for her, impressed by her gymnastics ability, or turned on by the fact that every time she flips her skirt flies up around her hips and you can see her skimpy lacy designer underwear. 

"That's what we like to see!" the host says. 

Not out of breath-- never out of breath, ever again-- Evie lands, bows, and does a split for the hell of it. It's as comfortable as sitting crosslegged on the floor. 

Her hair forms tiny fists and pumps the air.

"Twenty-three." Her voice doesn't hide how excited and thrilled and joyful she is. She doesn't want it to. 

"Aw, bad luck, Evie, that's another Bimbo Box. Breasts."

So either this is going to be completely humiliating or she's going to get badass superpowers. 

50/50.

Evie can't even really hate Prehensile and Emotional if she gets to feel like she can fly. 

"Our first option is Pillowy. Pillowy will make her breasts soft and warm and squeezable and extremely comfortable. Past reviews of Pillowy breasts include 'oh my god, they make breasts like that????', 'it is like touching a cloud', and 'I want to smoosh my face into it and never leave.' Bimbos with Pillowy breasts do tend to grab them and play with them all the time, but this is actually not our fault! They are just such amazing stim toys that it is impossible to resist the urge to grope them."

Oh yeah? Try her. Evie has been on a diet since she was six years old. She can resist any physical pleasure if it would be embarrassing or make men like her less.

Altogether, Evie approves. This is the sort of thing she was expecting from Bimbo or Billionaire? instead of nonconsensual pixie cuts.  

"Our second option is Bouncy. Bouncy takes advantage of the latest advances in biomaterial chemistry to make video game jiggle physics into reality. Her breasts will move at least twice as fast and as dramatically as you would expect. Even the slightest twitch of her shoulders will send a shockwave across her chest. As a bonus, we'll throw in strengthened back and core muscles and our patented PerkyTech (TM) technology, so that Evie can skip the bra without the slightest pain or inconvenience. I'd say you'd be literally unable to take your eyes off them, but that honor goes to..."

That's also the kind of thing she was expecting, although Evie will wear a bra regardless. She's a classy bimbo like that. 

"...our third option, Hypnoboobs! Made famous by our host, Chrissi, Hypnoboobs hypnotize anyone attracted to women who looks at them. When gazing at the hypnoboobs, you will be relaxed, horny, happy, and very suggestible, especially if the suggestion is that you should spend more time staring at, touching, kissing, or fucking the hypnoboobs."

.................honestly that sounds incredibly useful. Maybe instead of being a trophy wife she can flash men and get them to give her thousands of dollars. It's sort of like being a golddigger, but more distributed! When she went to the quant trading club at Yale to find a boyfriend they were constantly talking about the importance of diversification. 

"Our fourth option is Valley of Pleasure, back by popular demand! With Valley of Pleasure, every part of her breasts is as sensitive as her cunt. Having them played with feels like getting fingered and giving a titfuck feels like getting fucked. And of course each of her nipples is like another clitoris on her chest."

That's stupid. Why would she need that? That's what faking orgasms is for.

(Her hair perks up curiously.)

"Aaaaand the winner is... Valley of Pleasure!"

What?! That one's so stupid. They should have more faith in Evie's acting ability. 

The fog arises and washes over her and when it retreats she feels... exactly the same because she is too dignified to touch her breasts in public, thank you.