aaaaaaaa— it’s all right, it’s just someone at the door, this is in no way an emergency and he’s not dying and it’s fine. 

Leareth stands up from where he was stretching on the floor, and sits on the side of the bed. “Come in,” he says, his voice perfectly level.

Brightstar takes another deep breath and tells himself firmly that Leareth is really not likely to be angry enough to kill him and anyway if he did then Brightstar probably deserves it but he won’t! If it’s terrifying anyway this is just because Brightstar is a coward about apologizing for things, which is a stupid thing to be a coward about.

He cracks the door open and slips in.

THIS MIGHT IN FACT POSSIBLY BE AN EMERGENCY

(Leareth has seen a bit of scry-imagery of Brightstar from when he was being held prisoner up north, and also there isn’t exactly a second Tayledras Adept in his late teens with Vanyel’s exact eye color wandering around Haven.)

He does not Gate out but this is mostly because the reflex to do that is scrambled. He does bring up all of his shields to full power, that's a much simpler reflex, and then - what - Nayoki, comms-spell? Vanyel might be closer - 

Brightstar doesn't look like someone who's about to attack. He's standing uncertainly in the doorway, arms loose and awkward at his sides. He looks...sad, and tired, and haunted. 

"I came to apologize," he says. 

???????????

Does Leareth have to just look at him like that and not even say anything. It's incredibly intimidating and Brightstar is having trouble finding the right words. 

He switches to Mindspeech, which has always been easier. :I am sorry. I am sorry that I tried to kill you - I am sorry I went looking for your soul-sanctuary at all and I am sorry that I damaged it and I - I - I should not make excuses, that I did it because my Goddess wished it, because Jisa said that I could have known better if I did not have terrible judgement. ...I, just, I should not have done it and I am sorry.: 

Leareth is so confused on every level about what's even happening right now! And he lost his train of thought halfway through reaching out to look for Vanyel's mind and realizing that he's not keyed to the shields here and how did he fail to notice that at any previous point aaaaaa. 

He...nods, because Brightstar k'Treva seems to be expecting some kind of response and that's a neutral one that doesn't require him to put together any sentences on the fly. 

Vanyel, comms-spell, that won't be blocked by Mindspeech shields and the mage-shielding is like most places selective to blunt-force attacks, he doesn't even need an unusual routing - 

Brightstar takes another deep breath. 

:The Goddess sent me a vision. She said that, that She destroyed k'Treva Herself because She thought it was the only way to kill you forever that would work and that it was important enough to be worth it and that She thought we would have understood if she could have asked. But that it was a mistake, that it was not worth it, that She just - did not know, could not see - how much it would hurt Her people. That She should have found another way. And that She was - not sure - whether or not it had even been important after all -: 

Brightstar is crying now, quietly but his whole face is crumpled with it and the tears are leaking down his cheeks. 

:She said that maybe it was important that you die and maybe it was not and She could not tell, and She said she, She - said - She was sorry for hurting me and She loved me and She wanted to fix it and make it right but She could not see -: 

What is happening right now. Leareth is genuinely having a lot of trouble keeping up with what Brightstar is saying, he's saying it very fast, and it seems like it might be important but it's too many things and you would not think that this much sheer bafflement could coexist with being terrified and convinced on a bone-deep emotional level that he's about to die AND YET. 

...he was trying - what was he doing that he forgot to keep doing - comms-spell. Leareth was trying to reach Vanyel with a comms-spell. Can he - not while Brightstar keeps saying things that seem really important and that Leareth is in no way equipped right now to make sense of - he should do something but his mind is moving so slowly - he definitely missed a bit just then while he was failing to take any actions, focus - 

:- and it was my fault: Brightstar is saying. :If I had not been - someone with terrible judgement who would do those things - then She would not have killed my parents and everyone in k'Treva to try to start a war and none of this would have happened -: 

This time the stumble of confusion manages to resolve into something like an objection. That...isn't...how causality works...? - that's not quite the right formulation of it and there's nuance he can't hold right now, but Leareth is pretty sure there was something there that didn't make sense in a logical-error way, not just a 'the world stopped making sense' way. 

:No?: Leareth manages. :That does not make it your fault? That She chose a course of action before you had done any of those things. That is not how anything works.: 

It's now Brightstar's turn to be confused and stumble to a halt. 

:- I thought you would be angry: he says, almost plaintively. 

Leareth...honestly doesn't have the slightest idea if he's going to be angry with Brightstar in general, tomorrow, once he can think. He could maybe get somewhere on reference-class-forecasting what situations he remembers that were vaguely analogous to this (except what would be vaguely analogous to this???) and what situations he's been angry before, if he had a candlemark to poke it very slowly, but he doesn't have that. 

He - is really quite sure that he won't be angry with this sobbing child over ""causing"" the deaths of his entire family, when he himself had probably never done anything objectionable before, just because he was, what, a certain shape in Foresight that looked conveniently easy to corner into something? 

:Not for k'Treva: he manages. :That is not - I am not speaking of what happened later: because he really, really cannot figure out right now on the fly what would be honest to say, :but - the destruction of k'Treva is not yours to apologize for, and if I were angry it would not be with you.: 

For some reason this does not seem to make Brightstar feel better! If anything he's crying harder!

Nothing about any of this is making sense and if anything it's getting harder to think, Leareth hasn't even had a chance to try to calm down because he can only do it the slow stupid way and he can't even get started on any of those processes when the thing that startled him is - still in the middle of happening and shows no sign of ever stopping - his heart is beating fast enough that it's starting to feel slightly hard to breathe, though he's at least not meta-level-terrifying about that fact, it's negligible evidence toward "he's dying", it's entirely that he's completely forgotten how to do basic things like not panic when confusing things happen and that's not even new information. 

Brightstar hasn't said anything for an entire five seconds, and he's still standing there sobbing in the middle of the doorway but he's doing it quietly enough that it's almost certainly not going to get anyone's attention. 

- comms-spell. This time Leareth manages to actually get it up. <Vanyel> 

Vanyel has been soaking in a bath for the last candlemark, repeatedly re-heating the water with a little push of mage-energy every time it starts to get cold; it's not the smartest idea, he has a backlash headache, but the alternative is getting out. 

He was not at all expecting Leareth to poke him via comms-spell and startles enough to splash water all over the floor of the Heralds' bathhouse. <What? Are you all right, is something wrong?> 

Leareth can't just bounce his senses to Vanyel because it's a comms-spell link, it can only do words and not even emotional overtones. 

<Brightstar k'Treva is crying in my room and I think I am too impaired to handle this conversation correctly and should have it later> 

Brightstar is WHAT who even LET HIM IN and WHY?!

<I'm coming> Vanyel sends, and keeps holding the comms-spell link even though this is not helping with his headache while he scrambles out of the tub, sending a sea of water across the stone. 

Reach out with Mindspeech. :Featherfire I don't care if you're busy meet me at the House of Healing in -: he's not taking the time to head back to his room for his boots and cloak, he'll throw on the bare minimum of clothing to be decent and do a bloody short-range Gate there, which he won't like but it's not going to do him any real harm, he's been exposed to so many Gates lately. :Two minutes.: 

He lunges for a towel. <Leareth, if you need him to be not crying in your room, you can say 'it's not a good time and I need you to leave' or something, you're allowed to do that.> 

Leareth ignores this because he's only just now managed to come up with his own set of words to say and he's holding onto that too hard to switch courses.

:Is there anything else you wished to say?: he asks Brightstar. 

Brightstar lifts his tearstained face. 

:- I do not have the right to ask that you not be angry with Her, or that you forgive Her. But - She made a mistake, and She knows that, and - She was wrong to try to kill you, I am sure of that now, and I will make sure She learns that, I promise, and She will not try to do it again. I - just - I do not have the right to ask this either but please do not hurt Her, even if you are very angry -: 

Why in the world does Brightstar conceive of that as something that Leareth even has the power to do???? 

Leareth isn't saying anything, just looking at him in that unreadable terrifying way. Leareth is allowed to not say anything! Brightstar knows he doesn't have the right to demand any promises here but he's still considering whether maybe it would help to get down on his knees and beg? Probably not, Leareth seems like someone who only changes his mind based on logical arguments, but Brightstar isn't any good at that and he can't think of any additional ones - 

:I think: Leareth manages, :that it is really very unlikely I will harm the Star-Eyed Goddess over anything She has done recently.: