"And that would have helped whom and failed to harm whom, exactly."

"...possibly it would have helped no actual people but would have helped, uh, perhaps-counterfactual versions of you who could be or feel pressured into exchanging sex for, like, any of the many things you are presently relying on me to arrange and mediate for you or greater security in ongoing access to those things or etcetera."

"If I were going to be exchanging sex for something it'd be more sex."

"—I need to learn to stop saying words." He wishes Haru were at zero so he could put his fucking bracelet back on.

"...well, if it helps I'm not sure I understand what you meant."

He is not covering his face in embarrassment because Haru is backlashed but he wants to. "Could we instead pretend I didn't just say that."

"I don't have to follow up on it but no, no pretending is happening."

ARGH.

"I meant," he needs to stop saying words, "that I've wanted—that—for—a while."

"Oh."

He waaaaaants to hiiiiiiide his faaaaaaaaaaaaace but he caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't.

"So I don't know what counterfactual versions of me would or would not have wanted or been harmed by. But." This here version of him wanted that so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

"...well, that makes me feel better about it."

"I didn't realise I had succeeded at being subtle about it, honestly." He thought his thirst was written on his face like a neon sign.

"I mean - espers are hot, that's how espers work, it doesn't necessarily mean anything besides, like, big whoop, I'm an esper, if you check me out some..."

"I'd have felt better about that if you'd checked me out some. ...I really need to learn to stop saying words!!!"

"I was avoiding that! To avoid creating the possibility of pressure!"

"Wait what?"

"- it follows very naturalistically from the whole thing! If I have a duty to refuse then I have to avoid creating the impression that - giving me something to refuse would be welcome -"

"No, not that, I'm not stupid either, you know, I mean you—if you were avoiding it that means—"

"- I'm gay and I have eyes, Jaeha!"

"And also apparently superhuman control of your subconscious body language and reactions!" Haru? Was attracted to him? Really? That sounds actually absurd. Like, actually absurd.

"I wouldn't go that far but I was being, you know, professional!"

"Well you could always stop, you know."

"...I will someday learn how to not be a dick all the fucking time. I'm sorry. It's really admirable—and I guess since we've crossed this damn bridge, also really hot—how strongly you hold onto your principles like this. And I didn't want to be—I don't know, I didn't want to, to, to facilitate you breaking them or, or, I just..."

"...I just want to be a good person." Welp, those feelings he thought he was gonna have sure are now being had, huh.

...pat pat.