Jan 27, 2023 12:31 PM
branches off from no promise of freedom to explore new and exciting variants of dubcon
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Leareth has been assuming that Maitimo is not really in a mood to hug him right now and won't be for a while, which seems like a proportionate consequence for - all of this. He does, however, quite badly want a hug. 

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Maitimo hugs him, though admittedly much more stiffly than usual. 

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:Thank you. For - not being angry: He is pretty sure at this point that Maitimo would be very angry if anyone else had done this to him, and is holding that back specifically because it will hurt Leareth a lot, which is true, it would be so terrifying.

He's not especially scared right now - well, not more than the baseline level, which isn't zero, but mostly he feels tired and sad and ashamed. 

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:Can you sing me to sleep before you go?: 

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Yes. 

 

And he does that.

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:That went about as well as I could possibly expect: Melody seems relieved. :Thank you. I understand that you feel you owe him everything, and that's fair, just - I also recognize that you're navigating a really difficult situation here, and I appreciate it: 

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Thank you. 

Are we explaining things to Vanyel? I feel like asking him to a Gate to Vinyamar with no explanation is very rude.

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:I don't think he'll consider it especially rude if you ask for a Gate and don't explain why. Though I do think he should have the context, in the longer run - he's going to notice that, er, things are different between you, and Leareth may want more support from him in order to give you space: 

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Maybe I will ask for the Gate now and promise to explain afterwards.

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:That seems fine to me: 

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Vanyel is outside his room in the courtyard, pacing and singing to himself; he looks kind of worried. 

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"Hey. I'm so sorry. We're being horrendously rude. Nothing's on fire and no one hates anyone, I promise...I was going to offer to explain later but I can explain now, if we're going to have you distracted all day with this anyway -"

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"Oh? Er, it's fine to explain later." Vanyel tries for a reassuring smile. "I figured if something was on fire you'd have told me that. I'm just also stuck on the stupid spell I was working on anyway." 

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"Any chance I can trouble you for a Gate to Vinyamar? Then if there is anything else to consider someone will point it out, and the thing I explain to you will sound all the more reasonable."

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Vanyel blinks, seems slightly confused, but bobs his head. "Of course! Um, do you want me to leave you there and give you a Gate back in a couple of hours?" 

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"That would be good if it's not too much trouble!"

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"It's fine! You fixed my Gate problem from before, and without that Gates are really easy actually." And Vanyel gives him a Gate to Vinyamar. 

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And he goes through.

 

Finds Findekáno.

Explains everything to Findekáno.

"I was angry earlier but now I think I mostly - feel really sad? And tired."

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"I think you should spend more time here in Vinyamar. I realize this inconveniences Vanyel but I think you should do it anyway."

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" - I think that trying to point all of yourself at a person usually isn't going to turn out fair to you or to them? There's a lot of you, and normally it's pointed in like ten different directions, and it can still - shift oneself weirdly, to be on the receiving end of. And on your side...normally you're pointing it in ten different directions so not a lot of your self-esteem and happiness are riding on any one of them having any particular returns? 

I know how much we owe Leareth. But I think he should be at most one third of what you are doing with your life."

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"I think the problem here was that he had gotten convinced that I'd leave him if he didn't - keep me satisfied or something -"

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"That was definitely a problem! Not really a problem it is obvious to me you could have prevented - and don't tell me 'I could've not been attracted to him', you could also have solved it by being 'dead', I'm interested in solutions that aren't dumb - but I think you could, uh, have prevented getting this fucked up over it."

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"I'm not fucked up over it."

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