I would love to, but, funny thing! I need money to pay rent. Have you seen how expensive a rural house, even a really shitty one, is, compared to a fancy new apartment block built last year? Because the difference is stark, and the utilities in my apartment actually fucking work reliably! And I can get a job! Instead of 'not that,' which is what my prospects look like if I tried to move to Nebraska or something.

Who the fuck do you think is responsible for all of your shiny rural infrastructure staying online, hm? What was that? Centers of production and trade? Also known as places with a lot of people? Also known as cities? Yeah, we can't leave everything to the damn construction espers, and it's us in the factories that are making your water pipes and power lines so you can sit pretty in the middle of nowhere. You're fucking welcome. Not all of us have the money to go gallivanting off into safety, thanks, we have to keep everyone's lights on, so the hospitals and trucks and water can keep working. Check your goddamned privilege, asshole.

While I'm at it, actually - stop implying we're stupid for living here. I'd choose differently if I could, but people are more likely to be rescued from a dungeon in a city than if they happen to get dungeonnapped in the middle of nowhere. That's just how statistics work. It makes sense to take the option that you won't die from, even if you end up a little traumatized after. Which, you probably won't, because guess what, from someone who has been in two dungeons in as many years: mostly they're just kind of boring, actually. But if I got trapped upside down like I did a month and a half ago in the country, without anyone to save me? Yeah I think the blood pooling in my head would actually just have killed me. So.

I'll take alive over starving in the woods, thanks.

So, I grew up in a pretty small town.  It was pretty great, I honestly had a fantastic childhood.  But there were some downsides, lemme tell you a few stories.

I was hiking with Maman.  Gorgeous view, fantastic trail.  I hiked it all the time when I lived there!  This time, I went up the scramble to get to the top and my boot came off.  I was twelve, and like a twelve-year-old idiot I hadn't tied my shoe properly.  I went ass-over-teakettle, messed up my ankle and sprained my wrist pretty badly.  To this day Maman thinks it was a greenstick fracture.  It took Maman about three hours to get us back to the house, then two hours to get me to the hospital.

Then, when I was just hitting my teens and discovering cute girls and hot boys, I had an incident involving poor judgment, a load of dirty mopwater and a drill with a mixer attachment.  For the next THREE YEARS I was teased weekly about it and that didn't do me ANY GOOD when it came to getting a date to prom.  If I'd been in a bigger school, SOMEONE would have done something dramatic enough to make people forget about me!  And that's leaving aside the fact that my dating pool in high school was like, forty other kids, they all knew each other, and if you screwed up once - everyone knows it!

I love my little hometown and it'll always have a special place in my heart, but I'm SO glad that I don't have to be there any more.  I got my lucky break, but there's people who are still trapped there and will be for their whole lives.

“mostly they're just kind of boring, actually”

Really. “Kind of boring, actually”. Have you actually checked the statistics for outcomes, not kidnaps? If you find getting stuck in dangerous situations that could kill you if you’re not rescued soon enough not exciting enough for you, maybe you should take up extreme BDSM. You can go have your own special brand of fun in a private setting and leave the rest of us, who would generally like to not acquire mental and/or physical trauma, out of it.

Have you actually checked the statistics for outcomes, not kidnaps?

They don't even really seem to want people traumatized, it just kind of happens most of the time.

Thanks for making my point for me, dumbass.

I'm not even dignifying that with an answer. Blocked.

YES. Yes I have! And I will back¹ my words² up with some damn statistics³, unlike some assholes I could mention on this hellsite!

and this right here is why I keep telling all you idiots to fill out your fucking surveys. Because the facts matter and we can't get facts without data.

Ps: if you don't believe a boring data analyst how about a sexy esper (Link to Eventualities Fill Out Your Dungeon Surveys post)

I see, I see... being kidnapped by a dungeon is fine, actually, please ignore the trauma and also the massive expenditures needed to make sure it's "only" trauma and not literally dying... you're not stupid for living in cities, it's too expensive to do otherwise, but also it's totally fine to live in a city... what was that about blood pooling to your head? oh dear I hope you didn't have any damage from that...

If you were actually confirmed capable of reading, you would have noticed that I clarified what my personal decision would be, if I were financially capable, and THEN I had this amazing little thing called 'empathy for my fellow man' and took a second to think about how other people in my situation might feel, too. Wild, I know.

Anyway, I'm done with this cesspit of a post now, OP confirmed a jackass, I'm out. I tried to do my part for educating the stupid out of people, but if your response to someone sharing their lived experience is mockery and dismissal? You're part of the fucking problem.

You all seem really mean and unhappy and I'm not really sure what any of you are getting out of participating in this conversation. :/

listen here cumslut, ill bet you 5 million dollars that youve never been kidnapped by a dungeon. but guess what? ive been kidnapped by seven. and i can tell you right now that a birghjdzjghszzzzjbgn

reblog for spreading awareness about birghjdzjghszzzzjbgn. spread the word. we must all be aware of the true dangers of dungeons

o7 thank you for your wisdom, 4dgirlvisibleorgans

:*

#not porn #o7 is such a good fucking emoticon btw

Moving rapidly away from people so unlovable that not even a dungeon wants to keep them, you want to know the best part of living in the city?  I don't have to drive 40 minutes to buy groceries anymore!  There's more restaurant options than a pizza place and a sandwich place!  It's fantastic!

okay but like. be honest. is reliable access to food and utilities really worth the risk of birghjdzjghszzzzjbgn? think about it.

you can't know yet, man. you need to experience the city lifestyle of being a dungeon's gimp before you can make a conscious decision about how to live your life.

#o7

can confirm, experiencing the dungeon gimp experience rn. hey @4dgirlvisibleorgans can we get a PSA on how to be so unlovable not even a dungeon will keep you? I'm just so tired of having this dungeon's massive dragon dildo up my ass.

post more on tumblr

#hj #nsfw text

ok so are all these rural glorifiers forgetting about the time nightmare killed off a third of ulytau and traumatised another third forever because no one noticed it was there for days or are they ignoring it on purpose

#can you fucking imagine #no one notices you're gone for DAYS #you just die and disappear in fucking NIGHTMARE or some shit #because you live in the asscrack of nowhere

Honey, look! People are having another first world problems again. And it is *check notes*, dungeons! Because that is the one thing they can't outsource to us third world plebs.

Seriously, you fuckers need to, like, get a grip and figure out what is an actual problem is. Go outside and touch grass, maybe it will ward off the Grass Dungeon.

please send help the dungeon's new dragon dildo is just so fucking big, and there was NO LUBE. I don't want to stay a dungeon gimp forever. I want to eat dominos again you guys.

#the memory of the smell of fresh pizza #the convenient and quick delivery! #all available on their easy to use website! #it's what makes life worth living

Man, I wanted to post a dissertation I did on the topic. But I would need to translate to English, and the quality of replies is not encouraging.

#do not feed the trolls #unless they are a dungeon gimp asking for pizza

ok so are all these rural glorifiers forgetting about the time nightmare killed off a third of ulytau and traumatised another third forever because no one noticed it was there for days or are they ignoring it on purpose

did not happen in North America so it did not happen obvously.

#posts in English #north ameicans being fools as usual

please send help the dungeon's new dragon dildo is just so fucking big, and there was NO LUBE. I don't want to stay a dungeon gimp forever. I want to eat dominos again you guys.

I have a brilliant idea for a startup.  DoorDash, but for dungeons.  We can call it DungDash.  I’ll start preparing my Nobel acceptance speech.