"I don't have sex with-- well, with anyone except for-- money, I guess-- and you don't have any and-- there's no one here to watch us and-- wow. They look so soft, Chrissi."

"Yes," Chrissi says patiently, "because you are supposed to touch them." And people think Chrissi is the bimbo!

"Maybe-- maybe just for a little bit-- gosh. They are even softer than they look."

"You can play with them as long as you want. You can even play with them when the show starts back up probably."

The only thing Evie wants to do, ever, in her life, ever again, is touch Chrissi's boobs. 

They move even more when she squeezes them.

Well! Good news about the only thing Chrissi wants to do, ever, in her life, ever again. 

--Never mind, Chrissi is bored now. She starts kissing Evie. 

!!!!!

Even in the best possible circumstances-- with sexually experienced, sexually satisfied partners-- Chrissi tends to be... distracting. Many a crew member of Bimbo or Billionaire? has found himself coming for the twelfth time down Chrissi's throat and thus missing the meeting where he got fired.

Evie is not in the best possible circumstances. Evie has, in fact, never once in her life kissed someone she was attracted to. 

Evie is rapidly having a number of new experiences and discoveries. Her brain would be melted into a gently sloshing liquid of incoherent wanting, even without the help of Chrissi's hypnoboobs. With the hypnoboobs, well, she can't do much except kiss back and touch Chrissi's chest and make desperate hungry noises.  

That's okay. Chrissi is SO smart and SO good at things and has SUCH good ideas. Like that Evie should be naked. 

...that sounds like it involves not kissing. And not touching Chrissi's tits. 

Temporarily! But then you get more orgasms afterward. This is called Orgasm Cost and Chrissi learned this from a previous contestant. 

(Chrissi has a tendency to assume that all long words starting with O are 'orgasm,' since that's the important one anyway.)

Evie would be really scandalized about how stupid the woman she's making out with is, and how embarrassing that is for her, except that instead Evie is discovering that when she's shirtless and is kissing a woman who is also shirtless their breasts press together, and again this would be an extremely interesting and important discovery even without the hypnoboobs but the hypnoboobs sure are stacking a deck that really doesn't need to be stacked. 

Chrissi is stacked!

It is probably good for Chrissi that she's the only one who knows how to read the narration, because that is the kind of thought that makes people think she's stupid instead of superfantasticamazeballsingly smart. 

Evie is entirely willing to be convinced of the claim that Chrissi is superfantasticamazeballsingly smart. Chrissi is presently sucking on Evie's neck and her hand is stroking Evie's hip and her breasts (!!!) are pressed against Evie's and Evie is petting ineffectually at Chrissi's back because all of this has gotten Evie too overwhelmed for goal-directed behavior. As far as Evie is concerned, all of Chrissi's ideas are superfantasticamazeballs and she is superfantasticamazeballsingly smart for thinking of them. 

That's so true. And yet most people are so confused about it!

Mmmmmmmm. Not Evie though.

Evie has vaguely formed the intention that more kissing should happen, but actually kissing Chrissi requires a lot of motor planning and executive function and so far Evie is mostly devoting herself to producing every single vowel contained within the IPA alphabet. 

Chrissi didn't know that alphabets could drink beer

Does Evie want to learn about Chrissi's most superfantasticamazeballsingly brilliant idea?

...yes.

Well. If Chrissi goes between Evie's legs right here, she can touch Evie's clit. 

Evie is aware of the concept of masturbation. It is kind of hard to exist in the present-day world without knowing that women masturbate, and indeed that some women have accommodations under the ADA that permit them a ten-minute masturbation break per hour on the job and a private cubicle in which to do it. 

Evie just never really thought that masturbation would be relevant to her. Her mind sort of... slid off the topic. Her sexuality was a tool for her own use, and an object for the consumption of others. It wasn't that she ever thought, in as many words, "I need to not figure out what kind of sex I would actually like, so I won't have any difficult preferences that would inconvenience my mom or my future husband." Thinking that would be creepy, which would be difficult and inconvenience her mom and her future husband. She simply never considered the matter in precise enough detail to notice either that she might have preferences or that she wasn't introspecting on them.

Evie wasn't a virgin. But her boyfriends had typically felt that two minutes of prodding the correct vicinity discharged their boyfriendly duties, and Evie's back-arching sheet-clutching moaning faked orgasms certainly didn't enlighten them otherwise. 

In short, Evie was actually having her clit touched for the first time, and by Chrissi who not only had put in her 10,000 hours of clit-touching practice but had no fewer than three relevant Bimbo or Billionaire modifications.

This time, two minutes was absolutely sufficient, although it turns out that Evie's real orgasms are perfectly still and perfectly silent. 

Evie is, if anything, less capable of motor planning or executive function than she was previously. But she is very motivated. It is possible-- just possible-- that if she doesn't make it clear that Chrissi should absolutely not stop doing what she's doing, and should absolutely not change anything about what she's doing, then Chrissi might stop and do something else, which would be the worst tragedy Evie had ever experienced, even worse than getting dumped for a stripper.

"More," she says, although because her lips and tongue aren't very coordinated it comes out more like "mmmrrrr." Then, in case she hadn't made her point clearly enough, she elaborates, "more, more, more", and by the third time had even managed to have both vowels and consonants in something approximating the right order.